An Urgent Plea For Parents

AFM Plea

Did you know that suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for young people ages 15-24? Normally statistics don’t really bother me until it hits home. This week our little community was by rocked by such a tragic event. You can read about it here. Not one but two teenagers committed suicide. They were ages 15 and 16, a girlfriend and her boyfriend. It seem that  they had an argument and the boy, age 16, being so inconsolable decided to shoot himself  on a deserted part of a road. The girl age 15 found him and was so distraught that she turned the gun  on herself. They both ended up shooting themselves in the head. The boy was pronounced dead at the scene and the girl died in the early morning hours of the next day. A modern day Romeo and Juliet. Just like Romeo and Juliet, both of these young people felt like they had no reason to live without the other one. Which brings me to this point. How is it that parent give their children way to much freedom to be alone with the opposite sex way before they are ready for all the emotions and struggles that come with relationships? Even as adults we sometimes struggle with that. How can we expect our youth to deal with that? Society has glamourized being in a relationship and having an intimate relationship to the point that it has become the normal and it is not that unusual. Now as a parent I am not saying that I am perfect because I am not but we do have rules for our girls. No dating until they are 16. And if they are going off with a boy, the boy has to come pick them up and they have to come inside the house. No honking the horn and they run outside. And even at 16 they still have ask to go out and they have to let us know where they are at and if they change locations they are to call us. I know it seems old fashioned but we want to protect our girls from the possibility of the unknown. They have so many cousins in Mexico that are their ages that are already married with children.

Mikaela, my middle daughter, knew the girl that committed suicide. She attended middle school with her. She was saddened by the loss of this acquaintance but this sparked us into having a conversation about why her dad and I have the rules we do. We don’t think that at 15, children are ready for a “serious” relationship. The teenage years are hard to begin with why add that to the mix. I see some parents who allow their children to have “serious”  boy/girl friend starting as early as elementary school. What is that teaching our children- that they are nobody when they aren’t in a relationship? Mikaela, who is 15, have friends from elementary school who are the same age as her who are already parents. Yup you read that right? All because the relationship goes further than it is supposed to and teenagers are allowed way to much freedom to do what they please. Please I urge you for the sake of our children go back to the old fashioned ways and make teenagers accountable for their whereabouts and set limits.

I am in no way saying that this was the cause of those 2 precious teenagers taking their lives I am just urging parents to sit down and have a conversation with your kids about how important it is to realize that life is precious and that no matter what happens in their lives that nothing could be so bad that they take their own lives. I pray for that those left behind will be able to make peace with this tragic event.

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  1. It’s so important to parents to always have lines of communication open. Kids should feel safe, secure and loved when they approach Mom and Dad. So sad for the families of the two 🙁

  2. Having a child close to those ages is frightening. I think education and awareness are key, but it is just so sad to hear about children taking their lives

  3. That is so heartbreaking! I have four kids (ages 13, 15, 17, and 20) and this is a topic that has touched our community as well. Several kids from our high school have committed suicide over the last 10 years and it is just so tragic I can hardly even stand to think about it. It is truly imperative for parents, teachers, mentors, and friends to always be mindful of what’s going on in these youngster’s lives and reach out to them. I wish I knew the answer but it’s definitely a topic to pray about.

  4. When my oldest who is now in college was in middle school this seemed to be the thing to do. So we have had the talk with all our teens. So scary. So many of these teens making suicide pacts and taking their lives. If only they knew life in high school is not everything. Sad

  5. So tragic, so terribly sad. At 15 I had no idea what life nor love was like. I remember thinking that time was the be-all-end-all, yet only when you are older do you realize that bad times then {which seemed to be the worst in the world} are kinda nothing now. Hard to tell the young that there’s life beyond the teen years, and have them believe you. Would I have believed me? … in any case, so sad. So unnecessary. This is very upsetting. 🙁

  6. This is a great example as to why we plan to encourage our children to go the route of courtship and not be alone with someone of the opposite sex before marriage. Kids just are not ready for these emotions and this sad story is a great example.

  7. Wow! How tragic! I think our poor teenagers have so much on them these days. My oldest just turned 19 and went on supervised dates occasionally when she was 17. She has only dated two guys (one of them being the current boyfriend) She does go out alone with her boyfriend now, but mostly to places that they will be with others when they get there, concerts, friends house, etc… When at home or his house, parents must always be there too. Their dates mostly consist of hanging out at home with family playing games, watching movies, etc. Not much alone time! We have definitely discussed purity, emotional involvement, etc..

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