Feeling Fully Alive- Let it Go!
I know it seems like I am repeating myself- about letting go of anxiety. Mainly I am writing about it because I am still in disbelief that I am actually the one doing it. And here is just another instance how one Saturday night changed. I know I have mentioned how much I dislike driving the interstate. I tolerate them during the day but the night- no way. So you can imagine my surprise when I found myself on I40 heading to Raleigh one Saturday night for a Fully Alive Collective meetup by myself. I felt like Elsa singing “Let it Go” – but instead of the cold, I was singing the drive never bothered me anyway.
I had been to the Flourish Market just the week before when I attended Circle Up. You may remember how astonished I was to hear myself speaking up when asked to share. I kept thinking who is this person and what have you done with the old Melissa? You know Melissa who would never attend an event by herself- much less- volunteer to share intimate and personal feelings. But there I was again in the same seat from the week before sharing my thoughts and dreams.
This event was only for members of The Fully Alive Collective. The Fully Alive Collective is a paid monthly subscription to not only a podcast, live YouTube Chat but also events. I will admit when I first signed up for it I was thinking I would try it but would probably cancel my subscription. But each month, I have come out with either a new idea or a feeling of refreshment. I know for now this is where I need to be.
So back to that night, Emily ( the owner) took us through visualization and asked us questions to help get our thought processes going. Em asked such thought-provoking questions like how are we feeling, what we thought was missing in our lives and what in 2020 and beyond did we want more of? I kept coming back to the idea of spending more time in my blog cabin building my empire. And more time spent with Raul and the girls.
Since then Raul and I have spent time together on a date night. Gracie and I have a few mother/ daughter shopping trips and Mikaela actually drove down from Greensboro to visit me when I went on my business trip to Durham.
Emily then posed the question of what was standing in the way of our dreams? For me, the answer was easy- Anxiety and Fear. But I am doing my best to overcome that. Then the hardest thing hit me when she asked what do we see in other people’s hands that we don’t have? I almost broke down in tears when I wrote one simple word TEETH. Years of being told that I wasn’t beautiful. Years that lead me to not care. Which led to such decay of my teeth. A few years back I went to the dentist to see about getting dentures but fear’s ugly head rose up when I was discussing the procedure with family members. On the day of the appointment, my blood pressure was sky high because of the anxiety that they wouldn’t do the procedure. It is in my long term goals but nor sure if it will happen this year. See what one person’s comment can do when they think they are being “helpful”.
Hard truths right? But then Emily turned the tables when we were asked to look at what is in our own hands. The first thing that came to my mind was how I encourage others. Ask anyone, I can be the biggest cheerleader for anyone except myself. It always seems that I can give others encouragement, but I can’t give it to myself, go figure.
But I also thought about my Blog cabin. This is a place I bought by myself, a place I created with the money I earned. A place where my husband’s sweat equity bought my vision to life. It is a symbol for all of my hard work.
After this, the hard part came. We had to close our journals and our eyes. Then we had to open ourselves to visualize what we wanted our future in business and life to look like. After a few moments, we opened our eyes and were told to write down everything we saw. There is one thing that blew my mind but I am not sharing it yet. Stay tuned for another blog post on that one.
Not only did I leave feeling fully alive, but it helped to overcome my anxiety and fear. And it also opened up to new possibilities and new ways to spread my wings.
Great to know that you had fulfilling session that helped you look at newer and fresher avenues! Looking forward to your next post!
I love hearing about positive sessions and the action being taken!
It’s so important to have a support and a place to grow. Fanstastic that you found yours!