Divorce is tough on children of all ages, even if the divorce is amicable and you and your soon to be ex aren’t fighting over things. It helps to have people, including a law firm, on your side that are used to such cases, and people that know your family as well.
You have to face it, though, not all divorces are cut and dry. There can be arguments and fights over property, and custody of the children. While one spouse may be wanting to keep the things calm and relaxed the other one might continually be flying off the handle. No matter what your ex is doing, here are some things you should be doing to make sure your children don’t suffer any more than they have to during your divorce.
Don’t Talk About Your Ex Negatively Around Them
Never say bad things to your children about their mother or father. It’s just plain rude. Even if they are bad-mouthing you, you should be the bigger person and not do that. For one thing, it sets a bad example for your children. It can also cause you problems in court.
Make Sure They Get Time With Both Parents
Even if your ex is talking smack about you, you should not keep your kids from seeing their other parent (unless, of course, they are abusive towards the children). They need time with both of you, and getting through this separation is hard enough on them without feeling as though one of their parents is neglecting them or doesn’t want to spend time with them.
Don’t Drag Them To Court Or Meeting If They Don’t Need To Be There
Unless your children need to be at court, maybe to express their opinion (if they’re old enough) on whom they want to live with, leave them home or with a family member. This divorce is causing them enough stress as it is, they don’t need to see the harsh realities of it all in the courtroom. This could already have lasting effects on their behavior and their own future relationships, you don’t want to make it even worse.
Let Them Have Time With Friends And Other Family Members
Try to make life as normal as you can for your children. Let them keep spending time with the friends that mean the most for them, especially if one of you may be moving to a different area where your children might not see these friends as much anymore. This is also a good time to have your children spend more time with relatives that know them and can help comfort them in this time of change.
Consider Getting Them Into Therapy
Unfortunately, the effects of divorce on children of any age can be permanent. They may grow to hate one of you, they may even have trouble in their own future relationship. It never hurts to have them see a therapist to talk about their issues and help them move on.