How To Deal With Divorce While Parenting Young Children

Two of the most common but unfortunate experiences in the U.S. are marriage and divorce. A healthy marriage is great for a couple’s physical and mental health. And children who grow up in a happy and loving home are protected in a way from physical, educational, mental, and social problems. It is unfortunate that around 40 to 50 percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Subsequent marriages end in divorce at an even higher rate. If you are learning to deal with divorce and have young children, a contentious issue in the legal process is child custody. You are not alone in this battle, and professionals like the lawyers at Simon Law Group can guide you through both the emotional and legal processes of learning to deal with divorce.

However, if you are looking to keep the costs down, it is possible in some states like Texas to get a Texas divorce without an attorney, but there are some things to be aware of, and it is only really advisable to do so if you are filing an uncontested, no-fault divorce. In brief, the first step is to file a Petition for Divorce in the county where you reside. You can do this yourself, or if needed, you can hire a lawyer to help you. 

The next step is to serve the petition on your spouse. This can be done by hiring a process server, or you can do it yourself by mailing it certified mail and keeping the return receipt. Once your spouse has been served, they will have a chance to respond. If they do not respond, the divorce will go through automatically. If they do respond, the divorce will go through after a hearing has been held. Either way, you will need to file a Final Decree of Divorce once the divorce is final.

Dealing With Divorce While Parenting Young Children

How To Deal With Divorce While Parenting Young Children from North Carolina Lifestyle Blogger Adventures of Frugal Mom

When a divorce occurs, it can be traumatic and stressful for all parties concerned. There are a lot of legal proceedings you have to deal with, especially if you are parenting young children. Perhaps the most difficult issue to discuss and settle in divorce is child custody.

Here are three guidelines for dealing with divorce with young children.

  • Reaching an Agreement

Parents can attain an informal agreement in custody with the aid of a mediator, or a decision from the court. No matter how you want to achieve a custody arrangement, you shouldn’t make or negotiate any arrangements without first seeking legal counsel.

The procedure may vary, but it all ends in a written legal agreement. It is usually called a custody agreement, settlement agreement, or parenting agreement. Whatever agreement you obtain, it shall be presented to the court for conclusive approval. The final agreement will then become a binding contract that parents and other parties involved must adhere to.

  • Calculating and Establishing Child Support

When one parent wins legal or sole physical custody, the noncustodial parent is conventionally compelled to provide child support payments and settlements to the custodial parent.

Guidelines for determining the range of payment for child support vary by state. Also, it depends on a parent’s respective earnings and expenses. Meanwhile, some states authorize judges’ freedom in determining child support payments while other states have strict guidelines.

Here are factors that determine the amount of child support:

  • Income and expenses of the custodial parent
  • A parent’s capacity to pay
  • Child care expenses that include education, day care, health insurance, and special needs
  • Children’s quality of living before separation or divorce

    Emotional Support

Familial relationships can and should be maintained after a divorce. In fact, parents can still be effective parents even if their relationship has ended. Children can adjust to divorce depending on the manner in which their parents settle conflicts.

Parents who resolve and compromise conflicts with respect allow children to experience less distress, fear, and other negative mental and emotional symptoms. Here are a few core ideas how parents can help children cope better with divorce:

  • Be respectful to your partner throughout the divorce and custody proceedings: Verbal violence and attacks involving parents have been linked to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in children.
  • Resolve issues with feelings of abandonment: Young children are emotionally dependent on parents. Divorce can disrupt their trust in this vulnerable, dependent relationship. It is your responsibility as parents to reassure young children that you love them. Further, let them know that you will always be a family regardless of the divorce.
  • Insulate young children from divorce proceedings: Steer clear of disclosing too many details regarding the divorce process either as a sounding board or a messenger. Likewise, relieve their feelings of guilt by not exploiting them as bargaining chips or leverage in the custody process.

How to Speak with Young Children About Divorce

How To Deal With Divorce While Parenting Young Children from North Carolina Lifestyle Blogger Adventures of Frugal Mom

The decision to file for divorce is distressing. Moreover, the thought of telling your young children about the divorce is terrifying. It is devastating to have to tell him/her such disheartening news. It may even be unimaginable to know how he or she will react.

It is never an easy task to tell young children about divorce. However, there are a few things you can do to make it less distressing when revealing the truth to young children.

  1. Tell your children about the divorce as soon as you have reached a decision.
  2. If possible, both parents must be present when telling young children about the divorce.
  3. Inform all of your children at the same time.
  4. Younger children will probably not understand the meaning of divorce. If possible, explain it in simplest terms.
  5. Select a time that will not disturb your children’s usual activities. Likewise, choose a comfortable and familiar place.
  6. Avoid arguing, disagreeing with, or blaming the other parent.
  7. Make it a point to inform and reassure your children that they are not at fault.
  8. Avoid conveying feelings of bitterness, frustration, and anger. Instead, feel free to express sadness.
  9. Tell them what has been decided so far.
  10. Encourage young children to ask questions, and answer them honestly.

You now have a clearer understanding of the divorce process with young children. If ever you are facing the stress of divorce, understand that you are not alone and your difficulties can be overcome.

It might be in your best interest to consult with an attorney. The magnitude of the custody and care of your child must not be taken lightly. Thus, finding the right lawyer is not something to cut corners with. Professionals such as divorce attorneys and family law advocates can guide you in dealing with your situation and help you create a new life for your young children.

Going through a divorce process can be quite costly and time-consuming, so click here to maximize your legal options when dealing with divorce.

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