Midweek Moment: One Eyed, One Horned, Flyin’ Purple “People Pleaser”

It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater
(One-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater)
A one-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater
Sure looks strange to me (One eye?)

Several months ago I was walking around my home sulking with tears in my eyes, and I began to change the lyrics to that 1958 classic around just a bit. I found myself singing them out loud, “SHE was a one eyed, one horned, flyin’ purple” people pleaser”, One eyed, one horned, flyin’ purple “people pleaser”………..  I was directing those words straight at me!  Yes, I have finally admitted it. I have battled with what I call the “People Pleasing Syndrome.”

I don’t know why it was so hard for me to write this devotion. It is the one thing about myself that is so absolutely irritating to me. I have seen it cause fear, attack my self esteem, produce anxiety and unnecessary worry and just being candid, I have seen in the past where I allowed it to bring about sin in my life. Yes, I said SIN! When you believe man’s opinion of yourself over God’s opinion, and you seek to please people more than God, when you base your self worth from how many “Likes” you receive on a Facebook page rather than what God has in store and wants to do in your life for you, that is just plain SIN.  There goes my hot pink painted toes again. I just stepped all over them and need a pedicure!

Can anybody relate, not being able to say “no” to commitments and committees, volunteer projects…. because you don’t want to cause any conflict or you don’t want them to think bad about you, and then allowing all those priorities to interfere with my time with God, my spouse and my family. I reflect back and shamefully there have been times I even permitted “people pleasing” to alter my personality.  I am sure that I have looked “one eyed and one horned and every shade of purple!”  I remember in particular several years ago, gathering at a restaurant table with a group of what I would call “influential, popular” ladies in the community, sharing the fake laugh, listening to their profanity and flirtatious remarks, yet seeking their approval and trying so hard to fit in with the “In” crowd, ignoring all along that God did not want me to be in that SIN and that place to start with!!

 I look back and I have even changed things in my life to suit man’s agenda. I was ignoring what the Holy Spirit had planned for my life! For too long I was enslaved to it, feeding off of the approval that I received from others. I have actually tossed and turned in the bed at night filled with anxiety. “Why doesn’t she like me, what can I do to change it, what do they think of me, what does this person think or that person think….. It was not until I began to cry out to God and say Father God I need you to heal me of this disease, this desire to please others, instead of pleasing YOU, that I was able to feel free!

Honey child, I am Beverly Weeks. I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I am funny; I have a big trunk, an extra belly roll and a few sprigs of gray on the top. I am spontaneous, creative, have been known to stick my foot in my mouth. I mess up and have been known to cry out to God in rage and fall to my knees and seek forgiveness and I refuse to live nothing less than what my GOD has in store for me!! You know sometimes I have to remind myself of the powerful words found in Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

I am proud to say that this will be a weekly post by my wonderful and beautiful friend, Beverly. She is part of a marriage ministry that will rock your socks off. Not only is she talented, but she is the probably the most genuine person I have ever met. She has agreed to write a post for me every week for the sole purpose of encouragement. I love her writing and I am just glad she is going to be a regular on this blog. Check out the end of the article to find out more about her and her wonderful site, Intentionally Yours.

 

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11 Comments

  1. Beautiful post. Being a people pleaser is one of those things that easily sets you off course because we all want to be liked and find approval.

  2. great post–its not easy to change who you are nor should you–but it is ok to say NO without guilt–pleasing people and being helpful with kindness is admirable. So if the opportunity arises where there is a conflict between the two go with your heart and don’t feel bad about it. 🙂

  3. This is a lovely post. It’s so difficult to admit our own faults. I used to be the same way, except I called myself a yes woman. It turns out that I started saying no, and people still liked me. 🙂

  4. I’m a people pleaser as well, and it’s been really difficult learning to say no. I hate to feel like I am letting others down, but when my family (and my mental health) starts to suffer because I am over extending myself, something’s got to give.

  5. I hear you. I’m getting better at saying no but I’m terrible about asking for help which can lead me to become overwhelmed.

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