How to Be the Cool Aunt or Uncle

As my kids grew older, I wanted, like every parent, other adult role models in their lives. My girls tuned me out some, especially when they thought I was nagging them about the same old things. Interestingly, while they got tired of listening to me, the second my brother or sister said the same thing, they stopped and listened. That’s when I realized the relationships they formed with their aunts and uncles were oh-so-important, both for their development and my own support. If you’re looking to foster a great relationship with your nieces and nephews, think about how to be the cool aunt or uncle, and aim for consistency.

Get on Their Level

First, get on their level. I’m not being vague, y’ all—get on your hands and knees, crawl around with them a bit, and get as physically close to their world as possible. Play with their race car set, let them guide you through some make-believe, maybe even get goofy and put on some play clothes. This shows your beloved niece or nephew they don’t have to always come to you for attention, but that you’ll come to them and give it freely.

At the same time, you getting down on their level shows them their play is valuable and worth an adult’s time. This is much better than assuming adults don’t care about playing—let your inner kid out and illustrate the power of imaginative play to them. They’ll love you for it.

Give Meaningful Gifts

For special occasions, give gifts that carry meaning. There’s plenty of reason to give personalized gifts, one which is the smile on your niece or nephew’s face when they get something that fits their interests like a glove.

Better yet, give a gift that lets you forge a deeper relationship. Gift them a game they haven’t played but that you two can connect over. Learning how to play together promises priceless fun for both of you.

Spend One-on-One Time Talking

Another way to be the cool aunt or uncle is to prioritize one-on-one time rife with individual conversations. While it’s tempting to define your niece or nephew by a few traits—intelligence, humor, etc.—spending time together helps you learn their complexities without distractions.

Overall, don’t let their age lull you into not taking them seriously—your niece or nephew will surprise you with their unique perspective. I know my kids’ best times with an aunt or uncle were when they left feeling understood and valued by this person they looked up to. That’s how you bring a smile to their face whenever they see you.