Be Still
Am I embracing God’s purpose or my own? That question is very thought-provoking, isn’t it? But when I saw that question in the Bible Study I am doing with Proverbs 31, it made me stop and ponder it deeply. Am I embracing His purpose or am I embracing my own? In the past, if you had asked me I would say my own because I let fear and anxiety rule me for too long. I had been bullied and I didn’t really know where I fit into this thing called life. But over the past few weeks, I am sitting and listening. Listening to what you might ask. The stillness- did you know that you can appreciate God more when you are still than you can when you are busy. Silly me, of course, you know that but how many of us “Be Still” as the Bible commands us in Psalm 46:10.
I know that I am guilty of letting go and letting God only to then grabbing my burdens back from Him as if I was a toddler not wanting to share the load. I think as moms we are all guilty of this. We are afraid of being judged and that judgment causes us not to share. These past few weeks have been extremely heavy for me from financial troubles to family problems that sometimes I feel like I just want to sit in the corner and cry. But then I remember those words “BE STILL and KNOW that I am God.”
Opening yourself to others is a hard thing to do, but sometimes you need to let God show you how to open those doors so your burdens won’t be so heavy. As I was doing my study this morning I was directed to Psalm 139 and as I was reading my eyes filled with tears, those were the words I needed this morning. Those words that were not only of praise but words that showed me that I am worthy of all that has been put forth in my life. Am I going to stumble and trip probably because I am kind of a clutz but I know that God will be there in my daily walks even when I don’t remember to “be still”?
When I first started this journey of blogging and now hosting my own show, I prayed that God would show me signs that I am doing what He wants me to do. And y’all when I spent time in His creation, on my daily walks, He showed up big time. I knew that I was on the right path at the beginning of the summer but recent events have me reevaluating some of the things that I put into place and some of the people that I share my inner circle with- some of these people have shown up big time and some of them have shown their rear ends big time.
So I am at a crossroads- so I am still marinating on the question from the start of the post: “Am I embracing God’s purpose or my own?”
