The Importance of Self- Care
I wear so many hats. I am a daughter, a mom, a wife, a sister, a friend, a writer, and so much more. I think you get the idea. But what I am not is one to take time for myself or one to stand up for myself. A lot of this comes from being the youngest of 4 sisters and having one very strong-willed sister that you just agreed with because you didn’t want to cause a problem. But something happened to me this year, I don’t know if it is because I was serious about my word of the year “Create”, or creating a vision board or turning 50, but I decided that I wasn’t going to let anyone destroy my happy just so that they get their own way. That is where self-care comes in.
I don’t know how many times I have allowed my sister make me miserable in my own house, just because she always had to have her way. I don’t know how many times, I just kept quiet to keep the peace. But I soon found out that by doing this it was taking a toll on me. I wasn’t sleeping and I was overeating a lot. It wasn’t until this year, that I decided enough was enough and I got serious about what I wanted from my life ( a little selfish I know – but damn it I deserve it.) So when I discovered that my friend Melinda was moderating a panel that another friend, Nicole was on about self-care as part of a Wellness Wednesday series, I knew this was an event I didn’t want to miss.
Nicole was joined by Brooke Belden, Jess Geist, and Susan Lenderts. As Melinda asked the questions, they each were allowed to share what they thought, but the most important thing they emphasized is that we all need to be living our Authentic Truth. That is honoring who you are and walking with integrity in the world. That means walking in alignment with you are, even when someone else doesn’t think you should. ( See what I did there? If not go reread the paragraph before this one.)
They all agreed that self- care is different for everyone. For some it might be journaling, running, reading, crafting, etc. For me it is about being with friends, letting my creative juice flow through some kind of craft activity or honestly reading. I know I am real nerd, but honestly, the past few weeks I have set a timer for myself to read every day for 30 minutes and for some reason it just starts my creative juices firing.
The panel suggested starting each day trying to visualize how each day will go so that if you are confronted with an unpleasant situation that you know you can walk away from the situation knowing that you handled it the best way you could and that the other person doesn’t get your goat. ( I have learned that delivering short but sweet answers with no explanations and then just walking away is so much better than being bullied into doing something I don’t want or need to do.)
Most importantly is to give yourself Grace. Yes, bad situations may happen but that doesn’t make you a bad person. And realize that even though you do have bad thoughts (self-sabotage in disguise) that you are not a bad person.
I think one of the most important things that stood out for me from this panel is that growth is uncomfortable. I have a sticker on the back of my computer, that I put on last year that says “Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone.”
And honestly, I can say that is true because once I decided to step out of my comfort zone and realize the only person that can complete me is me. I am so much happier and I have learned to walk away from situations and people who were toxic for me.
I will leave you with one last thought which Nicole mentioned in one of her answers. In this answer, she referenced this scene from the movie Jerry MacGuire.
See how he says you complete me. Well, guess what the only person that can complete you is you. I just love this. A day later she posted these on her instastories and I asked her for permission to use them in this post.
After seeing this I realized I had a few pictures of myself throughout writing this blog where I was looking in a mirror, so I inspired to do a collage of my own.
Remember nobody else can complete who you and be true to yourself, not what everybody else wants to be.
