3 Ways To Prepare Your Kids For Your Separation From Your Spouse
No one starts a marriage thinking about their relationship ending in divorce. But for a huge percentage of people who will get married in their lifetime, divorce could very well happen. And while going through this process can be hard on anyone, it can often be significantly more painful and challenging for families with children still living at home. So if you and your spouse are considering getting divorced but don’t yet want to take any final steps, here are three things you can and should do to prepare your kids for your separation from your spouse.
Briefly Tell Them What’s Going On
One of the worst things you can do for your children when you’re separating from your spouse is to try to keep them in the dark. Not only will your kids be able to sense that something is very wrong, but pretending like this isn’t their concern could be very harmful to them in both the long- and short-run of things. So rather than trying to protect them in this manner, Kidspot.com.au recommends that you briefly tell them what’s going on and explain how things will be changing in their life. While you don’t want to burden them with too much information, you do want them to know a bit about what’s going on.
Make Their Well Being Your Top Priority
As you and your spouse go through a separation, there’s going to be a lot about the lives of your family that’s disrupted. And although things in your life likely aren’t going according to plan, you still need to try to be a sturdy foundation for your children. As part of this, HelpGuide.org recommends that you try to make their well being your top priority and that you’re always there when they need someone to talk to reassure them. Your stability is going to be vital to them getting through this process in a healthy manner, so make sure you’re not neglecting them.
Don’t Give Them Hope If There Isn’t Any
When you and your spouse decide that separation is what’s going to be best, you might find that your kids as desperate for you two to reconcile. However, according to Kate Scharff, a contributor to the Huffington Post, giving your kids hope that your separation won’t lead to divorce or that you’ll all be a family living together again soon can do much more harm than good. If you don’t think that reconciliation is a possibility, don’t give your kids the false hope that it is. In the event that you and your spouse do end up getting back together, this can be a pleasant surprise for your kids.
If you are about to separate from your spouse, consider using the tips mentioned above to help you prepare your kids for this new way of life.
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