When Does The Hurting Stop -

When does the hurting stop and the healing begin? I have asked myself that question so many times in the past week. I have also found myself wondering why God allowed this to happen to the sweetest boy alive?? With all these questions this little bit of information landed on my lap today. The man that shot our nephew was himself shot and killed last Thursday night. All sources are pointing to his bossman. Rumor has it that his bossman was not a good man ( if you know what I mean) and that he told his people that if they caused problems, i.e., murdered someone who lived around where he did business bringing the police around he would then kill them. Is that justice?? To me no. I would have rather that he was tried and put in jail for the rest of his life so that not a day goes by he would not be reminded of the innocent life he took. Our nephew would not have wanted him to die for what he did to him because he just wasn’t that kind of person.

But here is a contrast in the way their funerals were held.

Our nephew was laid to rest last Tuesday. His funeral was paid for by the mayor of the town in which he was buried. People came to see him all day Monday and throughout the night. From what we heard, there were some that were not able to say goodbye. They rented 200 chairs for the funeral, and even those were not enough to hold everybody. Yes, he was that well liked.

In contrast, from what we heard the man who shot him was discovered Thursday night shot. His funeral was attended by one person, his mother. That was just so sad to me. How can only one person care that this person was shot? Does two wrongs make a right?? I don’t think so.

I have to learn to forgive this man that took our nephew from us, but I am still not there yet. I know that is what Victor would have wanted us to do but I miss him too much to even think about forgiving the man who took him from us. And not only us but from his little girl, who is only 3. How is she going to remember her daddy? Is she going to remember the way he lived or the way he died?

It is hard dealing with this. I am trying to be strong for my girls and my husband. I have never seen him like this before but at some point, I have to let go too. But to who???