What It Means to Me to Play Small
For a long time, I didn’t even realize I was playing small.
I told myself I was “being realistic,” “staying humble,” or “not wanting to make waves.” But deep down, I knew the truth—I was shrinking to fit into a mold someone else made for me. I was clipping my own wings out of fear. Fear of judgment. Fear of failure. And maybe the scariest of all… fear of success.
Playing small looked like:
- Dismissing compliments and downplaying my wins.
- Saying “maybe someday” when I really meant “I want this now.”
- Holding back stories that could inspire someone, just because I worried I wasn’t “qualified” enough.
- Waiting for permission or approval before sharing my truth.
It’s wild how easy it is to fall into this trap, especially as women. We’re conditioned to believe that speaking too boldly or shining too brightly might make others uncomfortable. But what I’ve come to learn—through writing, healing, and simply living—is that playing small doesn’t serve anyone. Not me. Not my daughters. Not the women who might find hope in my words.
Playing small made me feel safe, but it also made me invisible.
And I’ve spent too many years blending into the background of my own story.
When I finally started stepping into my voice—through blogging, podcasting, and telling my story in the book Anchored in Hope—something shifted. I realized the power of my voice didn’t come from being perfect or polished. It came from being real.
Here’s what playing small has taught me:
- You can’t inspire others by hiding.
Every time I played small, I robbed someone else of the chance to feel seen. Your story—even the messy, painful, awkward parts—might be the very thing someone else needs to hear. - You don’t need to be ready—you just need to be brave.
There is no magical moment when all the stars align and fear vanishes. Confidence comes after the leap, not before it. - Shrinking doesn’t protect you—it just limits you.
I thought keeping myself “less than” would protect me from criticism or failure. But in reality, it only kept me from growing into the woman I was created to be. - Playing small doesn’t make others comfortable—it just makes you resentful.
I used to think dimming my light would make others feel better. But all it did was make me feel disconnected and frustrated. Real connection happens when we show up fully.
Today, I choose to show up.
Not because I’ve figured it all out. Not because the fear is gone. But because I’ve finally learned that my voice matters. My story matters. And so does yours.
I’m done playing small.
Done waiting in the wings.
Done living a half-life because of imagined rules and outdated beliefs.
If you’ve been playing small too, I want you to know this:
You are allowed to want more.
You are allowed to take up space.
You are allowed to shine—unapologetically.
Because the world doesn’t need a smaller version of you.
It needs all of you.
Your light, your story, your presence.
So here’s to stepping fully into who we are meant to be—
Messy, radiant, brave, and so much more than small.
