What Every Parent Should Know Before Adopting

Around 75,000 to 100,000 children are adopted each year across the U.S., and the adoption journeys look different for each family choosing this avenue. It’s a profound and complete decision, and it can take its toll legally, financially, and emotionally too.

For families who are considering adoption to expand their family, this article is going to look at some points every prospective adopter needs to know before they begin this journey.

The Different Paths to Adoption

Adoption isn’t a single process. It’s more of a category that covers several very different routes. And each route has its own timeline requirements and considerations.

Domestic infant adoption, for example, involves adopting a newborn or young child through an agency or independently within the United States. Foster care adoption involves the adoption of a child or sibling group and is typically lower in cost but comes with its own set of emotional and procedural complexities. Then you have international adoption, which involves adopting a child from another country. This process has become significantly more restricted over the past two decades.

You need to know all of the different paths, processes, and the implications for how long the process takes, what it costs, and what the relationship with the birth family might look like. Knowing this information means you can choose the right path for you.

What The Home Study Involves

Home study is a requirement for almost every type of adoption. It is also one of the most anxiety-inducing parts of the process for prospective parents.

The home study, in reality, is a formal assessment consisting of a licensed social worker who evaluates whether a prospective adoptive family is prepared and suitable to adopt.

The study will include background checks, financial reviews, interviews with members of the household, references from people who know the family well, and one or more visits to the home.

The goal here isn’t to find reasons to disqualify families. It’s to find loving environments in which the child or children will be safe and able to thrive. The entire process can take months from start to finish, and the resulting document will be used throughout the rest of the adoption process.

The Legal Process is More Complex Than Most People Expect

Adoption is a legal proceeding, and the legal steps that are involved are often more thorough and complex than people initially anticipate. The specifics vary depending on the type of adoption and the state, but the process generally involves the termination of the birth parents’ parental rights, either voluntarily or through the court. From here, the child will be placed with the adoptive family, after which a period of supervision follows. There is a final court hearing at which the adoption is legally finalized.

Each of these steps involves legal documentation, court filings, and deadlines that need to be managed correctly. Working with an experienced attorney for adoption from the outset means the legal process is handled correctly and on time, and that the family’s interests are protected throughout.

If you make any mistakes in the legal process, this can jeopardize the adoption entirely, so it’s imperative that you obtain and appreciate legal guidance from the beginning.

Open vs Closed Adoption and What Each Means

Adoptions can be open, closed, or fall somewhere in the middle. A closed adoption is one in which there is no contact between the adoptive family and the birth family after placement. An open adoption, on the other hand, involves an ongoing relationship. This can be anything from regular visits to occasional letters and photos from both parties. 

One of the most common adoptions in the US is the semi-open adoption. This involves communication through an agency without direct contact.

There is no universally correct answer about what arrangement is best. It depends on the circumstances of the adoption and the wishes of both the adoptive family and the birth family if either has preferences. That being said, research does point to adopted children benefitting from having access to information about their origins and, where appropriate, some form of connection to the birth family.

The Costs Involved and How to Plan for Them

Adoption costs vary greatly, and how much it does all depends on the route taken. Foster care adoption is usually low-cost or free, and in many cases, states offer subsidies to support the adoptive family after placement. 

Domestic infant adoption can cost anywhere from $20,000 to $60,000 or more, covering agency fees, legal fees, home study costs, and, in some cases, birth mother expenses. Similarly, international adoption costs are also significantly high and have additional costs such as immigration and travel costs.

There are financial resources available to help offset these costs, and the federal adoption tax credit allows adoptive parents to claim credit for qualified adoption expenses in the year the adoption is finalized. Additionally, many employers offer adoption assistance benefits, and some states also offer additional tax credits or subsidies.

Take your time to look through all the expected expenses for your upcoming adoption journey, as well as the financial resources you might be entitled to claim.

The Emotional Journey is Not Linear

Once you move past the legal and logistical aspects of adoption, you get the emotional aspect of the journey. It’s rarely a simple or predictable arc. Prospective parents often experience periods of excitement, anxiety, grief, uncertainty, and hope, and all of these will come in quick succession. Then, when you add in failed matches, extended waiting periods, and the complexities of the home study, it can be incredibly overwhelming in many ways.

And this doesn’t stop post-adoption either. And every journey will take on a different form depending on the circumstances of the child. Children who have experienced losses, for example, may need additional support, and adoptive parents might also find they need help to adjust to the new life and find the best path forward. It’s a good idea to understand that things can and do take time, and there are many emotional challenges from the beginning of the process through to post-adoption and beyond.