Top 5 Conversations to Have Before Marriage
When it comes to marriage, there are so many things to talk about before the big day – some that are really serious, and others that are a little more light hearted and fun. From discussing whether you want kids to what’s on your bucket list, here are five conversations you’ll want to have before getting married
1. Having a family
Before you delve into the details of having a family, having the conversation about whether you’re actually on the same page about it is the number one question. It’s a huge thing and something that you really want to clear up long before you say your vows. Whilst it might not be a deal breaker one way or the other – minds can change over time – it might well be, and you both need to know where you stand.
Then there are the specifics of having kids. How many do you both want? How long do you want to wait before trying for your first? What type of parenting style do you favor? What are your views on the practicalities of things like schooling and paternity leave? The clearer you are about these areas, the better things will be in the long run. To know more about the benefits of paternity leave for men, read more.
2. Sharing day-to-day responsibilities
The best marriages work when you’re part of a team, but you may well have different views on what that means. It could be that you have differing approaches to who should be responsible for certain aspects of day-to-day life, such as chores, looking after finances, etc. You want to find this out before you walk down the aisle and then you can work towards finding common ground.
This is an especially pertinent conversation to have if you haven’t lived together before. It’s easy to think that you, or they, will just blend into each other’s ways, but there will probably be deal breakers on both sides. Be open with your views and be open to theirs. That way you can work your way towards becoming that marital team we talked about.
3. Views on money
Money talks. And talking about money can be uncomfortable. But once this conversation is out of the way you will be better able to deal with the issue throughout your partnership. One of the first steps is to lay all the cards on the table. Credit card debts. Loans. Vehicle repayments… any financial commitments you both have. Once you’ve taken your vows you will be sharing everything equally so it’s best to know where you’re at. Honesty is always the best policy on this one. That way nobody will get a nasty shock later on, which could cause a multitude of problems down the line.
In addition to current finances, it’s also good to discuss each other’s views on future planning. Are you both savers? Does one like to spend money on vacations? Are you a team that will budget and keep costs down, like factoring in paternity leave for men, so that you have contingency plans in place? Having these discussions will keep you both on the front foot and will help avoid awkwardness when situations inevitably arise during your marriage.
4. The geography
Whilst you both might be happy with your current living situation, that might not be the future plan. City or country? Living in different places or laying down long term roots? Choosing a new career that allows you to travel, or basing yourself at home? Again, these plans can change, but it’s a really good idea to find out where your heads are at before marriage to figure out how big of an issue it could be down the line.Â
5. Your bucket lists
A lot of the pre-wedding conversations can be quite heavy, so let’s finish with a little fun. Talk about your hopes and dreams – traveling the world together, bungee jumping, swimming with dolphins… see where you’re aligned and where you’re not. You’ll no doubt find out new things about each other and make plans that’ll ramp up the excitement about the happy times ahead.
And there you have it, five conversations to have before the big day. Honesty and openness are the keys to a good marriage so enjoy getting to know each other better.
