Getting a divorce is difficult enough as it is. When you make a commitment to someone through marriage only to find that in the end, it wasn’t what you hoped it would be, it can send your entire world into a downward spiral. You may feel as if you tried everything and despite all of these efforts, you somehow still couldn’t make it work.
When you throw all of these typical and common feelings in with also having children with this person, it can be a lot to take in. When you have to deal with and control your own feelings plus consider how your children are handling the adjustment as well, it can be all too much for one person alone. Here are some of the best tips to make sure that you are not only giving yourself the best possible tools to make it through this difficult time, but also the best tools to your children.
Going to therapy is something that you should definitely consider not only for yourself but for your entire family. When the family dynamic abruptly changes, everyone can have an identity crisis of sorts. Routines change, energy changes, and insecurities can start to arise about things we didn’t even anticipate.
Rather than simply allowing time to heal these wounds, why not see a professional who can help you organize and compartmentalize these feelings and reactions in the most productive possible way. By seeing a therapist from the very beginning you can minimize the possibility of having emotional issues further down the road due to repressed feelings.
Give Your Children Love
You can’t always control everything that will happen after you decide to get a divorce. However, you can control the amount of love that you give. It is important to show your children that despite this new change with their parents they are still just as loved and valued.
Try to show them daily through actions and physical affection how much they mean to you. This can be one of the best things that you can do to ensure that they process the experience in a healthy way.
Stay Consistent With Routine
When something jolting such as divorce happens in a family it is important to try to keep things as close to normal as possible. This way your children will feel safe and as if they still have some sort of grasp on their environment.
This also goes for yourself. Try to stay consistent with your job, activities, and daily routines as much as possible to avoid shock.
Don’t Argue In Front Of The Kids
Even though things can get heated in the process of divorce, it is ideal to avoid arguing or showing hostility in front of your children. Try to be a healthy example of emotional intelligence for them.