How to Protect Your Child in the Event of a Divorce
Divorces are extremely painful experiences for everyone involved. When you get married, you expect things to last forever, and divorce may well be the last thing on your mind. It’s normal to find a divorce difficult and you might find yourself embroiled in different emotions, including sadness, rage, and despair.
This is especially true in a contested divorce where you may have to go to court. But some divorces are even more complicated. If you’re a couple on your own, things are difficult, but if you have children, then there are more casualties to think about. When this happens, your priority needs to be protecting your children.
In the Case of Abuse
People divorce for a lot of reasons. One party may have been unfaithful, leading to a divorce. Or it could be that the marriage isn’t working for other reasons, like unhappiness on one or both parts. But one reason for divorce is abuse.
If you or your children are the victims of domestic abuse, it can take a lot of courage to divorce your spouse. However, this might be the best way to protect your children from further abuse.
In this case, do what you can to document the abuse so you can prove that the other parent is a danger, especially if they have hurt your child. Medical records and testimonies from teachers or other witnesses can be very helpful.
Custody and Visitation
In most divorce cases, however, it’s important to try to maintain a relationship between your children and both parents. This might be hard to get past, especially if you’re bitter due to a betrayal. But when you focus on the children, it’s easier to recognize this need.
The best thing to do is to settle child custody and visitation after divorce in court. A lawyer can help you work out the best situation for your children. It may be that one parent gets primary custody, or you could both get equal custody.
Your children should never be used as tools or pawns to get back at your ex or vice versa. This can be considered illegal. Be neutral when talking about your ex and keep to the agreements. If possible, maintain a cordial relationship with your ex as you are still tied to them through your children.
Therapy and Emotional Management
Even if you manage to achieve the perfect divorce where both parties still have a good relationship and you can protect your kids from any pain, they are still going to hurt. Nobody wants to see their family break apart and this is essentially what happened.
It’s best to provide the emotional support that your children need to process this change in their lives. Therapy can help them to understand that the divorce wasn’t their fault and they are still loved. It can also help them to move past their feelings and be able to cope with the way life is now.