How To Prepare Your Child For A New Sibling
Many couples look forward to having children in their lives. There’s always a sense of wonder as you watch your children grow into full-fledged individuals. And aside from that, you can’t deny the pride and love that grow inside you after seeing every achievement they’ve made. Because they have many more where these feelings came from, some wish to have a big family someday.
However, growing your family means letting your older child understand the adjustments they must make to welcome the new family member. Considering how drastic the changes are, bringing a new baby into the family will affect everyone’s lives from here on out. Family dynamics are bound to receive the full brunt of these changes. And depending on their age, not all children might be eager to have someone else replace their status as the ‘baby’ of the family.
Although all families are different, everyone can agree that maintaining a healthy one takes patience. Older children are bound to feel all kinds of emotions once you bring a baby into the house; most might be negative if you don’t prepare them well. While it’s impossible to avoid them completely, the only thing you can do to lessen these negative emotions is to prepare your child for a new sibling. Here are some ways to do that.
- Get Them Settled In
Children below five years old are much more unpredictable than teenagers. Considering they don’t understand the concept of babies, it’s normal for them to react unusually when you bring one home out of the blue. Because while you’ve already bonded to your baby, your eldest might see it as nothing more than a weirdly shaped potato who somehow stole all of their parent’s attention.
Before you and your partner consider having a baby, let your child get used to babies in general. Show them their baby book containing pictures of when they were still babies. This way, they’ll know what a newborn looks like while they learn how excited you were when they were born. You can also do other things, like pointing at those big sister little brother outfits when you’re window shopping together, just so they get excited to wear them once their sibling has finally come out.
Spend time with friends or relatives who also have babies, so your child can get used to being around them. Watching you hold other babies would make them think it’s normal. Furthermore, it cements their belief that you still love them unconditionally, even if you’re carrying another baby.
- Be Open
Children are known for their endless curiosity, especially if they’re interested in the topic. Therefore, while it seems like a great idea to reveal to them that you’re pregnant as soon as possible, it’s better to let them find out about it on their own. After all, the mother’s body is bound to show drastic changes that can catch anyone’s eye, even your child.
Once changes start to show, they might ask what’s happening to you. Be straightforward when explaining things; tell them a baby is growing inside you. Naturally, that only leads to the typical ‘where do babies come from?’ Your child doesn’t care about the ‘how’ behind it, so there’s no need to teach them about ‘the birds and the bees’ this early. But answering one question opens up more, so be patient and thorough with your answers.
- Don’t Rush Them
Showing that someone else is using your child’s things without any preamble might trigger them, especially if they’re around two to four years old. Because at this age range, they can be territorial over everything, whether it’s their toys or even their parents. Disregarding their feelings to make room will leave the child harboring jealousy and resentment for the baby, which strains their relationship.
For those who don’t plan to buy new things for the baby, tell your child what must be done early on. Explain the situation thoroughly and be patient. Let them get rid of some of their steam while the baby’s still not around. To make it easier for them to swallow, be vigilant about sticking to your original routine together. That way, your actions show that you’re still thinking of your firstborn, despite how many changes they face.
- Include Them
Planning to welcome a new baby to the household requires countless plans and appointments. But instead of dealing with all of them with your partner alone, get your child involved, even if it’s only for some. Ask them their opinions when picking out clothes for their baby sibling. Let them feel your baby’s movement in your stomach. Show them the ultrasound scan of their sibling. Include them with your excitement. That way, they’ll understand the hype and even look forward to it.
- Be Present
Even if you’ve done everything to prepare your child, they eventually feel left out, given how much attention is required to raise a baby. Granted, it’s understandable if you don’t have time for both. But for the child, all they see is you neglecting them to favor their younger sibling more.
Before childbirth, talk to your partner about what to do. For those who don’t have a partner, ask your loved ones if they’re free to help around the house and with the baby. Do whatever you can to stick to your original routine with your firstborn. Show that you’re still available for them, regardless of how busy you are.
Be transparent with them if you’re having a tough time managing your time. Never keep your child in the dark, especially when it ‘threatens’ their standing in the family.
Takeaway
Having a new baby in the house is as exciting as it is worrisome, especially if you already have a child. Now that they have to ‘share the spotlight’ with someone else, there’s a chance that animosity might build up between them. Therefore, to maintain a healthy family dynamic, prepare your child early on.
