How to Help an Alcoholic Husband
People drink for many reasons, and it’s a social norm learned early on. This doesn’t mean you’ll abuse alcohol, but certain conditions and life events can lead to alcoholism. These include chronic health problems, a parent’s drinking habits, depression, anxiety, physical or sexual abuse, genetics, peer pressure, and accepting heavy drinking as normal. These and other factors can cause a spouse to develop an addiction, leaving you with an unstable marriage. Is there anything you can do? Here’s how to help an alcoholic husband.
Recognize the Signs
Life is busy, and you often run in opposite directions with your spouse throughout the week. You may not be there to see a drinking addiction directly, but there are signs you can look for, like:
- Dishonesty or secrecy around alcohol consumption
- Withdrawal symptoms
- Higher alcohol threshold
- Extreme mood swings and irritability
- Memory lapses and blackouts
You may also be ignoring these signs because you don’t want to face the reality of an alcoholic husband, but this not only delays recovery but can lead to a further descent into the addiction and potential decline of the marriage.
Seek Professional Help
Often, your wishes and care are not enough to help your husband. This is because of several personal factors in his life, so you need to encourage him to seek out a professional with experience in alcoholism. This is not only a vital part of his recovery but may be the only hope to get beyond the addiction.
Research qualified mental health and addiction treatment centres that are close by and reach out to them. They can explain what they offer and how to get your husband to come in the best way. These types of healing institutes have professional staff, modern facilities and the latest treatment methods to work beyond the addiction to the root cause because this is how to heal a person.
Staff create a personalized care program for lasting recovery with a commitment to well-being and a life of purpose. Some of the programs in these centres include:
- Cognitive behavioural therapy
- Group therapy
- Recreational therapy
- Wellness activities like yoga, art therapy and journaling
- Preparation for living in the real world
This is truly where healing takes place, so seek out professional help and support your husband’s recovery through a qualified addiction treatment centre. Ultimately, you are there to offer support and guidance as he takes positive steps towards recovery. Use this as a guide to getting your husband and life partner back.
Talk with Them
Living in this environment can be catastrophic, but it won’t get better until you confront the problem head-on. This may be scary, but you can express your concerns by approaching your spouse with love and compassion.
This won’t guarantee that any changes will occur, but it shows that you know what is going on and want to help. Pick a time to approach him when he is calm and sober, and tell him your concerns without making sharp judgments. Tell him how his drinking affects the relationship and family with “I” statements demonstrating your feelings.
Remember, this is not a way to be confrontational but rather the start of an open dialogue to offer support and understanding, showing your love for him despite what he is going through.
Lay Out Clear Boundaries
Your goal is to help your alcoholic husband, so you need to set clear boundaries about his drinking. This is a series of lines in the sand that dictate what you will allow in your home and marriage, with real consequences if they are unmet.
These may include no drinking around the children, no driving while intoxicated, no spending essential household money, no aggression or unwanted sexual advances, or anything else that is a negative result of his drinking. Most importantly, he needs to commit to getting help.
If this understanding is breached, follow through with your consequences. He must know that his behaviour is unacceptable and the boundaries you have set out allow him to drink but not directly impact you and your family. This initial step to recovery ensures respect and accountability in the marriage.
Practice Self Care
A husband’s alcoholism doesn’t just affect him but you also. You are forced to go through this, and it can be more than taxing on your physical and mental health. Part of supporting him is to take care of you, so practice self-care.
This is not a selfish act but rather a necessary practice to promote your mental health and remain strong during this time. A few ways to practice self-care include:
- Spending time with family and friends
- Pursuing a hobby or sport
- Exercising
- Working on relaxation techniques like yoga, breathing and meditation
- Seeking out a support group
You must be at your best to help and support your spouse while maintaining your health and happiness, regardless of the situation.
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