Today this post is about spreading kindness to one another. I honestly didn’t think that I would ever have to write something like this. But this blogging world can be cutthroat. I have always been one to help others and I am passionate about what I do, and when people ask me for help – I help without hesitation. ( Sorry, Alex I am getting that email to you today) But there are things that I don’t tell – like for instance how hard it is for me to actually work up the courage to go to a meetup or an event. A million thoughts that run through my head aren’t funny at all.
But I muster up the courage to go because I am the face of my business and I need to get it out there front and center. Being a blogger can be a solitary life sure it may seem exciting with events and product reviews but 80% of the time- it is spent in front of the computer typing out a post or trying to come up with a unique perspective to a story. It can also be a lonely life especially when you live in a small town- which I do.
Heck, most of the time my excitement for the day is taking and picking up my youngest daughter from school. But today it hit me soon that excitement will be less. I have mentioned before how soon we will be empty nesters. Maddie and Mikaela are at college and Gracie is a sophomore. I will admit that I loved the freedom when Mikaela was here of her being able to go pick up her sister but I still had the morning dropoff. But not this morning, this morning my husband took Gracie because she had to be at school before it started to take the driving portion of Driver’s Education. To say that this mom’s emotions were raw is totally an understatement. I have been going back and forth on how this new development feels. In a little over a year, she will have her license and I will have more freedom but what to do with that freedom.
I know I have mentioned before about the car accident we were in a few years ago, but I don’t think I have told you that it was just one of the many I have been in throughout the years. All of them have been a result of people following too closely and slamming into the back of whatever car we were in. That is why I have anxiety in big cities in heavy traffic. To the point that it cripples me from venturing out past my little town. Just ask my husband and kids about how I get in heavy traffic – my husband finally has come to understand why I get so nervous when it is bumper to bumper and tries to leave a little room between our car and the car in front of us if he can.
So when I go to events, I always take someone with me that if I am driving they can help keep me distracted from the anxiety that develops inside. It takes everything I have to go to events, but I go because it is something I am working on.
Now back to the kindness comment. When you see me I am a happy person for the most- sure a little introverted at new places but when someone responds to me I respond back. And if we have a relationship as friends that joke then yes that is what I would do as I would expect the same from you. But what was intended as a comment as a joke ” You never stay home” which in fact the blogger goes to a lot of amazing places and sees amazing things was taken negatively. And it was not meant by that. That got me thinking how many times do we read things into comments or posts that if weren’t in a certain state of mind would we take things differently. But I also was in tears in the way the blogger came back at me. I honestly meant no harm with what I said- I am actually a little jealous of her life- but to write words that on this day hit me like a ton of bricks that all I wanted to do was cry made me realize what she just said I did to her- she did the exact same thing she said I did.
So I have learned a lesson that before responding to take a day and calm down and then if after that timeframe if you still feel the same way then respond.