4 Tips to Using Humor to Resolve Conflict

The fight has been brewing all day. You know what I am talking about it just seems like no matter what you say – nothing is the right thing to say. You are at def con 5, and things are about to explode. Ever been in that kind of situation before? I know I have several times and I will probably be in them in the future. Something has to change before someone gets their feelings hurt or, worse yet, physically hurt. The last thing you would expect is someone to open their mouth and… make a joke.

Maybe it doesn’t feel like a resolution, but actually, laughter goes further than being the clichéd ‘best medicine.’ How? First of all, it helps relieve the tension of the situation. It allows people to regain perspective, build stronger bonds, and, yes, sometimes smooth over the differences. Honestly, folks, laughter is the best way to solve a problem.

How do you use laughter to keep a situation from escalating? Just look at these tips below about using humor to resolve conflict.

1. Make sure that both parties are ‘in on the joke.’

This one is super important. People don’t want to be made fun of- they want to share in the laughter but not because of the laughter. But how can you tell if you’re doing it right? That is very tricky. The best thing to do is to gauge the other person’s reactions. If they’re not laughing, chances are they don’t find it funny. So that should be your clue to Stop! Immediately.

2. Check to see how you are using humor

If you’re using humor to mask emotions that you’d rather not deal with right now. Stop immediately and ask yourself what it is that you’re not dealing with and why. Sometimes, it is better to walk away from a situation when you don’t know why you feel that way- there are always underlying problems that may cause you to snap.

3. Work on that sense of humor.

Learn to read your audience. Watch clues, verbal and nonverbal. What kind of words are you using? Keep the tone positive and light, and mean it. That means don’t be cruel. Use inside jokes if possible. Inside jokes not only keep the situation light but create a deeper intimacy within your relationship.

4. Most importantly, be Playful!

Being silly is a good thing. But make sure you are in a place where being silly won’t cause more conflict. Not sure how to tap into that side of yourself? Watch things you find funny on TV or in movies. Listen to jokes. Read the funnies. Watch comedians on television. Employing Chuck Norris Jokes in a lighthearted manner can serve as a humorous and effective strategy to diffuse tension, turning a potential conflict into a shared moment of laughter and camaraderie.

Although I would advise against watching celebrity roasts on Comedy Central some of those jokes go too far. Find that side of you that likes to play and encourage it with creativity and fun.