4 Tips for Finding More Fulfillment in Everyday Life
Everyone wants a fulfilling life – it’s just that there are all kinds of different ideas and approaches about how best to achieve that, and many different dimensions of our lives to take into consideration when trying to strike the right balance.
Perhaps one of the most detrimental things that we all tend to do is to treat fulfillment is something that we can’t really enjoy in the here and now, but that we have to instead pursue as a perpetual goal for later. No doubt that’s a big motivating factor in the psychology of workaholism – the belief that if we just get the next promotion, or wrap up the next big project, or get the next raise, we are going to find ourselves living the lives of our dreams.
In fact, though, many of the great thinkers and artists of history have made a strong case that fulfillment needs to be sought out and found in everyday life, first and foremost.
So, here are a few tips for finding more fulfillment in your everyday life.
1.Slow down and pause – take the time to experience what’s right in front of you
In all likelihood, it may just be impossible to actually slow down, find fulfillment in the present moment, and enjoy what’s right in front of you, if you are simultaneously perpetually wired, raring to go, and fixing your gaze on the next project or hurdle down the line.
According to the writer Celeste Headlee in her book, “Do Nothing,” the chronic rise in stress, anxiety, depression, and a sense of unfulfillment that has taken place over the last century across the developed world, can be traced largely to the “cult of work and productivity” and the belief that every aspect of life needs to be productive and goal-driven.
This mindset inevitably causes us to feel guilty when we actually do slow down and enjoy what’s right in front of us for its own sake, and it also directly drags us out of the present moment by fixing our attention on the future and what we feel we don’t yet have.
The antidote? According to Headlee, it’s to slow down and pause regularly, and to regularly allow ourselves the opportunity to “do nothing” (or at least nothing productive), but to instead develop the skill of enjoying things for their own sake.
The more you can let go of some of that chronic stress and slow down, the better the chances are that you will be able to find fulfillment in the things that you already have – rather than experiencing a perpetual sense of frustration and unfulfillment, due to the things that you don’t have.
2. Read fiction and enjoy good stories
For many people, the idea of sitting around and reading fiction seems like a waste of time. After all, instead of directly learning some applicable new skills that can be used in the world around you, and instead of actually doing things directly, you’re just sitting in one place drifting through some imaginary world.
In fact, though, psychologists and neuroscientists have found compelling evidence that when you read fiction you are strengthening and developing almost every region of your brain, while simultaneously activating the same regions of your brain that would be activated if you were actually doing the things you were reading about.
Reading fiction, and exposing yourself to good stories in general, is certainly entertaining and can help you to enjoy yourself and have a good time in general. More than that, though, reading fiction is like living out many lives without needing to leave your own home. Researchers have noted that, among other things, people who read fiction have more empathy and a better understanding of other people and social interactions.
Reading fiction, in other words, can help you to have a great time in the moment, and it can also give you plenty of thoughts and insights to play with, which can increase your sense of fulfillment and understanding on an everyday basis.
3. Use a task management system that works with you rather than against you
We all have to deal with certain chores and tasks, routinely, that have the potential to be frustrating. Cleaning a shower head, for example, may seem daunting and unpleasant until you’ve read an appropriate guide on the subject that puts your mind at ease.
A frequent source of stress in people’s lives is the simple fact that they are constantly trying to juggle and manage a huge range of tasks and to-dos, without losing track of anything important.
One of the best ways of reducing stress in this dimension of your life, and allowing you to find more fulfillment in the everyday, is by employing a task management system that works with you, rather than against you.
A good task management systems should allow you to more or less “let go” of the tasks you have to manage, since they will be recorded somewhere outside of your own head, and can then be addressed in a calm and systematic manner.
But, life is unpredictable and dynamic, so a good task management system also needs to be able to change and update on the fly, and shouldn’t make continual pressing demands on you that then end up causing more stress as a result.
One great example of a “mindful” task management system is Ryder Carroll’s Bullet Journal Method.
4. Prioritize your own well-being, eat well, and get enough sleep
If you are generally feeling pretty awful in a variety of different ways, it will obviously become significantly more difficult to find a sense of fulfillment in everyday life, in general.
Prioritize your own well-being, and deal with the everyday pillars of health and happiness that are so often neglected.
Are you taking good vitamin supplements and eating a balanced diet? If not, there is actually a very good chance that you are deficient in some essential vitamin or mineral, and may end up experiencing highly negative side effects as a result of that.
Are you getting enough sleep each night, so that you feel rested in the morning, and don’t need an endless supply of caffeine to power your way through the day? Then you are bound to experience a whole range of negative health and psychological consequences – as the sleep scientist Matthew Walker notes in his book “Why We Sleep.”
