I Choose Joy
I am sitting here on my deck, my favorite place; my eyes are drawn to the sky where for the fourth time this week a rainbow formed in the heavens. I am in awe at the beauty that God has created and think how sometimes that beauty is often overlooked and taken for granted. I know until He started working on my heart, I wouldn’t even venture outside, being a total hermit. But now I am enjoying the North Carolina weather; even it is too stinking hot to go outside.
This cozy little place on my deck is where I get my best thinking done, where I enjoy reading in the afternoons, ( I am currently reading What Remains by Carole Radziwill} where I wake up and hurry to get outside to do my devotionals before the girls wake up. It has become a place where I can just sit quietly and enjoy the day. Of course, I always have a few little visitors when I am sitting here. At the moment all three cats are catnapping in various locations and Allie is watching me through the patio door.
And I also have one of my favorite things in the world when I am on this deck, and that is my beloved Starbucks Grande Iced White Chocolate Mocha.
It is in these little things that I find joy. I was reading in One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, a devotional by Anne Voskamp that only me, myself and I can kill my joy. That when I am not feeling joyful it is because I am choosing not to believe it. Sure there might be stressful and extreme circumstances, especially when you look back at the events of 2014 {Gracie’s Epilepsy, car accident, multiple doctor appointments for Gracie and I, Surgery for me, and finally watching my dad slowly slip away from us in hospice} I certainly know that I chose to feel sad during that time. How couldn’t I? But now I realize that even in those circumstances the act of thanking God for all things is where starting to feel joy comes in.
I will admit that God has been working hard on me. Lately, I can see some many things change because I chose to feel joy even in the midst of multiple migraines a week, constant acid reflux, and Allie pooping on the carpet it seems like every day. I think to myself that these are God’s reminders me to slow down and take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. I think my ring tone on my phone says it best. It is Shackles By Mary Mary.
In the corners of mind
I just can’t seem to find a reason to believe
That I can break free
Cause you see I have been down for so long
Feel like the hope is gone
But as I lift my hands, I understand
That I should praise you through my circumstanceTake the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I’m gonna praise you
I’m gonna praise youEverything that could go wrong
All went wrong at one time
So much pressure fell on me
I thought I was gon lose my mind
But I know you wanna see
If I will hold on through these trials
But I need you to lift this load
Cause I can’t take it anymore
So in the midst of all the turmoil, I choose joy and praise. So tell me what do you choose?
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