Conversations about Larger Than Life Heroes and Their Care
Disclosure: This post has been sponsored by Global Influence, per FTC regulations
Now that I am getting older, I realize that so are my parents. Our parents are our heroes- those larger than life images who can do no wrong and who will live forever. Then reality crashes in and we see that our heroes are still our heroes but just not as larger than life and the possibility of them dying looms in the future. When my middle daughter, Mikaela was born we were so overjoyed with happiness. Maddie was a big sis and we became a family of four. Less than a month after Mikaela’s birth, we heard the dreaded “C” word come out of my parents mouths. My dad had been sick and had hidden it from all of us. His diagnosis was Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, yup the “C” word – CANCER. That was back in 1998.
Since then he has battled this disease for 16 years. But this year has been the hardest. On top of the Lymphoma he had been in and out of the hospital dealing with his COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease), problems with his heart and the Lymphoma which was back with a vengeance. With that said I have had to have conversations with my parents that I never wanted to have. It might not be a conversation I wanted to have but it was a necessary conversation- no matter how uncomfortable. It is a conversation we all must have- but let your parents take the lead and first and foremost listen. Remember it is all about their wishes not yours.
Care Conversations is a great place to go when you are planning for the long term care of your loved one. Planning for long term care can be a very complex and emotional process. But there are certain things that you can do to make it easier. For instance, making sure certain documents are in place to make the transition easier and less stressful for everyone involved. These documents are their will, power of attorney and end of life options. Although this is one of the hardest conversations that we will ever have to have it is also probably one of the most important ones. To answer any question you may have check out the video below.
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So tell me have you have had conversations with your parents about their care?
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My brother just had the talk with my mom who lives all alone and may not have much longer to live since she’s terminally ill. It’s never too early to have that conversation.
It’s definitely not an easy topic to talk about, but it’s a necessary evil, right?
It’s nice to know that there is an organization that is designed to help people in terms of planning for long term care. I do agree that this is very complex and an emotional process, and thus the need for professional help. But families should do their part too by initiating the conversation. I know how hard it is to start the conversation since a lot of older adults are not open about their finances. I think it’s fine as long as you’ll take one step at a time and you’ll make them feel that you really care about them. Thanks for sharing! I hope this organization can create more awareness about long term care and can help a lot of people in terms of long term care conversations.
It’s a really tough conversation to have but so important. My siblings and I all got together to talk about this last year and then we talked to our mom together.
Oh this is so very hard. I am thankful we aren’t there yet.
I’m so sorry to hear about your father’s medical issues. It’s so hard when the ones we love the most get sick. You and your family will be in my thoughts. 16 years with lymphoma is no small feat. Your father must be a strong man, indeed.
I think a lot of kids don’t realize and cannot accept that it’s the parents decision and not there but then again.. it all depends on their situation. It’s tough.
i’m sorry about your father’s issues. It is a difficult topic. I’m glad that there is help around to help the sick and their families
definitely have not had the conversation. Mentally I always assumed they would live with me but when sickness comes in the conversation I have no skills to handle that
We’ve not really had the conversation when it comes to my husbands mom, step mom and dad. They all work(ed) in the medical field so their insurance benefits and retirements are well stocked. Since we can’t take them all, I am pretty sure it will be home aids or retirement homes if we can’t bring them to our house. My mother is a little different story. She left her home and job to move here to take care of her parents. When they passed, she stayed in their house. She lives in a very rural area and has a modest job at a small bookstore. No benefits. She barely gets buy. Hubs and I hope to move closer to one of his jobs soon and our hope is to find a home with an efficiency apt. above the garage or space in the basement for us to make her one. Things would be much better for her if we could get her to a better , safer home and a city where there are more jobs. Plus, I enjoy having her around. She is a big help with everything.
This sounds amazing. I love the help they offer. I should consider them for the future.
My dad has COPD and congestive heart failure. It wads hard to talk about long term care and future medical decisions, but I’m really glad we did. When he wound up in the hospital for pulmonary emboli, I already knew what he wanted.
Yes, we have been dealing with this for about five or more years. We should have had that conversation 10 years ago but my mom refused to until it became a necessity. Thankfully, now, everything is in place as much as it can be and as much as they will allow.
I think this is such a good idea, so often we don’t think about these things until it is too late.
It’s difficult bringing up these topics, but they are important. Just like drawing up a will, or life insurance but more important.
This is the hardest conversation – but so important. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad’s health issues.
I feel that the hardest conversations are the most necessary. I am sorry to hear about your family but I can see that you find confidence in making the right choices for them. Sending prayers your way.
Oh, someone was telling me about this the other day! I hate the thought of these conversations, but this seems like a great resource for them!
My mom is 72 and has her plan in place to retire at home in Jamaica. It is a good conversation to have early on
This is such an important conversation to have. Great article!
Very relevant and important conversations. We need to recognize our “family” heros.
We just moved to Marco Island, Florida, brought my 70 year old mom with us. I am looking at her future and her health, so much to learn and do.
I really don’t want to think on my parents getting old and needing care, but someday I have to deal with it. I think it’s good to get it all planned out before you really need it.
I know that as an only child I plan to take care of my parents personally. I but we have those talks often because it is just me.
It is definitely better to have everything planned out before you need to take this step. It is important to know what your parents want.
I lost my Dad in January so I know how it feels to lose one and I’m gladd you are taking the right steps. My MIL is now in intensive care so it’s like deja vu all over, I will tell my FIL about this.
Long-term care is a conversation we all should have with those we need to… I had it with mom recently.
Very good information for people with aging parents. It’s always good to have arrangements in place before you actually need them.
What a great resource. As a nurse in LTC, I have seen many people struggle with this talk and the decisions. It is good they have help this way.
Parents raise us and then we have to take a turn and raise them when they get older it’s a sad part in the circle of life I’m glad there are open conversations for this kind of talk
Definitely hard conversations, but so much better to know what their wishes are than not.